


'Twas the Month Before Christmas

by Carlanime



Category: RPF - Canadian Politics
Genre: All My Members, Gen, Politislash, RPF
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-11-15
Updated: 2005-11-15
Packaged: 2017-10-05 08:28:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/39730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Carlanime/pseuds/Carlanime





	'Twas the Month Before Christmas

'Twas [the month before Christmas](http://www.metronews.ca/reuters_national.asp?id=109082), and all through the [House](http://www.parl.gc.ca/common/index.asp?Language=E),

Not a Member vacationed, not even a [louse](http://www.brandonsun.com/story.php?story_id=10441);

[Ralph Goodale](http://www.ralphgoodale.ca/) was hung, his package enormous,

And he dangled his [goodies](http://www.canada.com/montreal/montrealgazette/news/story.html?id=15bbdee2-9811-4e96-a929-b8510ef4ce4d) to woo and assure us;

The opposition were nestled all snug in their beds,

While visions of [poll-results](http://www.iht.com/articles/2005/11/15/news/canada.php) danced in their heads;

The First Nations were, once again, [pushed to one side](http://www.macleans.ca/topstories/news/shownews.jsp?content=n111569A),

And the [Separatists](http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/4534011.stm) gleefully [came for the ride](http://www.metronews.ca/reuters_international.asp?id=109075);

Paul Martin was [scornful](http://www.macleans.ca/topstories/politics/news/shownews.jsp?content=n111523A) of left and of right,

"There isn't a clause for [non-confidence lite](http://www.edmontonsun.com/News/Canada/2005/11/15/1307660-sun.html).".

Said Stephen, "Your moral authority's nil,"

But sadly, [ the public still thought him a pill](http://news.ft.com/cms/s/76e24a2a-557e-11da-96fc-00000e25118c.html);

 

[Jack Layton](http://www.ndp.ca/jack/) insisted [he'd play with the rest](http://www.theglobeandmail.com/servlet/ArticleNews/TPStory/LAC/20051114/NDP14/TPNational),

Since the Grits had failed to [admit Jack knew best](http://ottsun.canoe.ca/News/National/2005/11/09/1298590-sun.html);

The questions grew heated, the weather grew chill,

We voters all shivered, deprived of our [bill](http://www.canada.com/montreal/montrealgazette/news/story.html?id=de3e09c5-8854-42cc-b85e-2853e08361a4);

When what to my wondering eyes should appear,

But a dignified gent, in a humongous chair,

His temperament even, his appearance so neat,

I knew in a moment it must be [Saint Pete](http://www.craigmarlatt.com/canada/government/house_speaker.html).

More patient than Job in this mob of the lame,

He whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, [Gilles](http://www.blocquebecois.org/fr/equipe_detail.asp?ID=58)! Now, [Harper](http://www.conservative.ca/EN/biography/)! Now, [Layton](http://www.ndp.ca/jacklayton) and [Martin](http://www.liberal.ca/primeminister_e.aspx?id=22)!

On, [Peter!](http://www.conservative.ca/?section_id=1802&linkTo=true&districtId=1257) On [Brison](http://www.liberal.ca/bio_e.aspx?&id=12006)! On, [Libby](http://www.libbydavies.ca/) and [Christian](http://www.blocquebecois.org/fr/equipe_detail.asp?ID=139)!

From the heights of the caucus, to the back-benchers' seats!

We must have some order, some dignity, please!"

As dry leaves that shrivel before the first snow,

And faced with an obstacle, fast sink below,

So now, to a person, they got back to work,

As the Speaker presided o'er each Honoured jerk.

But I heard him exclaim, as he hefted his [mace](http://www.parl.gc.ca/information/about/people/House/Speaker/role_duties/index_e.html),

"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good race."


End file.
